It is not good, and it is a major stumbling block.
The Wonder Woman movie is very poor. Should Jonah Hex really have been the villain, and it is way too easy for Wonder Woman. She never feels challenged.
The Batman one is quite good seeing him in this alternate world struggling to be like Batman.
The Superman one is pretty good, but Twilight Zone homages are nowhere near as shocking or unpredictable as creators think they are.
Then it all falls apart. Why did Mongul bring all these people together? Why not keep better track of this telepath?
I have already said I am not at all excited for the Watchmen or Crisis on Infinite Earths animated movies, and I think the first one in particular will be horribly received, thus I have big worries for the future of this lineup.
Justice League War is arguably the first film in the DCAMU. I have already discussed things like how it started, how I hate the art style, and how I hate Jason O’Mara’s portrayal as Batman. Interestingly he is one of the few actors who stayed, as Diana, Clark, and Green Lantern all got different actors after this movie. The tone is much more black comedy compared to the others. It is so jarring in tone the whole DCAMU actually makes more sense if you just skip this one. In fact it makes Darkseid less intimidating later since he is so dumb here and was already beaten.
It starts with the news showing that a parademon is mistaken for Batman and the heroes (besides Flash) are hated. I believe children falling for this. The problem is the news does not know how to use frame by frame. I know how to use frame by frame.
See. Those two images combined with the pictures of Batman they have on the news should be enough. What is a parademon? Way later it is revealed they are people kidnapped and turned into monsters. If you are unfamiliar with the lore of DC then this gateway movie is just confusing.
This is based off the storyline “Origin.” It follows the beat and even most of the dialogue from the comic. The thing is for one the comic has much better art, and a key part of the DCAMU’s problems is they keep adapting art galleries by Jim Lee and not even trying to adapt his art which was the selling point. The other is the tone. The comic takes itself seriously while doing a basic and easy to understand story to set up a team. This goes crazy with black comedy and ditches the important exposition. For example Green Lantern and Batman are looking for a mother box. What is a mother box? I know what it is. I have explained it before. Assuming I do not then I am just confused.
Green Lantern was introduced saving a woman and for some reason leaves her on the roof so she can ask how she is supposed to get down. This establishes he is stupid and that summarizes him up. It is also way too generic of a joke.
Batman and Green Lantern have their quarrel, which is pretty funny. Most of the dialogue is straight from the comic except Green Lantern is now brain dead. This added wackiness clashes with the tone, in contrast the tone of the comic helped establish they were dealing with a high stress situation neither of them is prepared for without help.
Relationship wise Batman and Green Lantern are inconsistent throughout their history. Sometimes like here they hate each other, and sometimes they are very close. I know I am biased since Batman is my favorite superhero and Green Lantern is easily in the top 10, but I think them being best friends makes more sense than their usual best friendships with Clark, Flash, and Green Arrow. They are both hardcore deontologists, very devote to the job even compared to other superheroes, they are both highly motivated by all three lost, parents, found family, and their mistakes. Either way I love it when they hate each other too. As much as I am criticizing this scene I enjoy it. There is something fun about them roasting each other.
So these guys are funny. What is not funny but just bad is the Cyborg and Billy Batson plot. I really hate the changes they made to Victor’s football game. In the comic they just cut to the end, while in the film it is a long and generic sports scene. In the comics he is a wide receiver, and in the film he has the much more generic position of quarterback. The movie replaces Aquaman with Captain Marvel Shazam. They add in a scene where he sneaks in to watch, and he only gets in because the guard is a complete idiot.
There are multiple things here I do not like that summarizes this movie’s problems. Why did he and the old couple come so late that Billy only sees the final play? Billy sitting on an empty reserve seat is just an asshole move. It is also dumb, as for all he knew Silas Stone had to pee and is about to call security over this getting him in serious trouble with powerful people. Also, it is literally only one play, just stand. Another problem is Victor’s team is called “Titans” bringing attention to how terribly he fits in with this team.
Another scene makes Billy and Victor even more unlikable. Billy sneaks in (later revealed to steal a jersey), and Victor covers for him when a guard comes looking. For all Victor knows the kid’s parents and family are worried sick about him (later shown to be the case). Just say where the kid is.
One change I think is important is Silas Stone’s reaction to missing his son’s football game. In the movie he has a notification on his phone and chooses to ignore it sadly. In the comic he never would have made reminder that or been sad to ignore it since, he would never go. This just makes his character inconsistent.
I do need to praise one scene with Silas and Victor. Silas tells his son with superheroes nobody will care about sports, and I think he is right. I like thinking of how fantasy changes life for the normal guy.
We are introduced to Wonder Woman. She had many great storylines in the (then) recent New 52, so I have high hopes…
How did they make Wonder Woman look ugly? It does not help they then praise it with another bad joke. It is amazing how much this feels like a parody of her. In the comics she is a hero who saw people in danger and rushed to help and enjoys it. Here she is a psychopath who joined the “heroes” because they give her more opportunities to stab things in the short term. In the comic ice cream is tiny joke. Here it is a forced meme.
Here comes the most famous part of the movie, Green Lantern and Batman fighting Superman. Green Lantern is so powerful he is limited only by his imagination. This version has very limited imagination.
Batman and Green Lantern think the alien attacks have to do with Superman resulting in a fight with him. In the comics they put up a good losing fight, call in Flash who helps brining four members there. Sure they lose, but they show the value they have to the team. Here no Flash, and I am wondering why Superman bothers with other Justice League members. This fight is a good scene. The banter between Green Lantern and Bats is much better, and the fight is very entertaining. Inferior to the comic but good.
This leads to one of the Superman problems, and why he is so hard to write, power levels. The typical best way around this is simply to make him one of or the most powerful member. Green Lantern and Flash combined would beat him. Sure this makes the whinier part of his fanbase mad, but that group is practically unpleasable anyway. Another method is just make everybody else useless in comparison. That is the worst method.
The method used here is to take him out of the fight, everybody else goes on without him until they rescue him where he saves the day. This is a decent method.
That means the three members there have a mother box and Dr. Stone has a mother box. From Darkseid’s home planet Desaad activates them, and they blow up unleashing an army of parademons. I know what they are and what they do. The film never explains what they do. In a temper tantrum Victor grabs one when it is about to blow up to tick his dad off. On the other hand Brain Dead Green Lantern is smart enough to save everybody else from the one over there. Victor gets blown up, as his dad works on experimenting on him to potentially save his life. At least the regular fight is pretty good. At least the resulting escape by Stone and the Justice League’s fight with the parademons are very good action sequences. Director Jay Oliva is great at them, and his talents show.
I just think this shot looks cool.
For the worst Justice League member he is grateful his dad saved him and… Gets angry he saved him by turning him into one of his precious machines. If I did something stupid and Dad saved me by turning me into “Canoeman” I am going to thank him for saving my life. I really hate this guy. As he is remade with technology from Apokolips Cyborg sees a video showing the Parademons take people and turn them into other Parademons. Why? Better hope you already know who Darkseid is.
A little past the half way mark they are suddenly joined by the other 4. In the comics Shazam is wise and a powerhouse. Here he has the mentality of an immature child (that is now who Billy is or how his powers work), and his powers are floating and shooting useless pieces of electricity at his enemies. Where is Aquaman when you need him?
For the first time together surely they will do something cool. Or Green Lantern gets his arm broken, Superman is captured, and everybody else is wiped out.
Green Lantern rushes to save Superman, but Batman stops him with an a speech that highly interests me. Not for anything they say, it is how different their actors do the scene. Justin Kirk gives it his all as Green Lantern capturing a strong personality who can shut up and be calm when needed. Meanwhile O’Mara talks the exact same way when my coworkers ask how much time is left on their shift. He sounds so bored.
After this in the comics Green Lantern gives a rousing speech. This whole time his catchphrase has been “Green Lantern’s got this.” Now it is “We’ve got this” showing his development and the basic message of joining a team to do something greater. Here a lot of comedy is added ruining the message and a few other members end up taking charge.
After is a quick scene reminding everybody that Shazam is completely useless. Did Shazam kill the writer’s parents? He will literally have a speaking role in one more movie before vanishing.
The rest of the movie is a bunch of fighting that is pretty good, especially the Green Lantern stuff. Batman breaks Clark out (who clearly killed Desaad. He gets back after Flash and Wonder Woman blind Darkseid and together they send him back to Apokolips ignoring he could just teleport himself and his army back whenever he wants. Out of time the movie is over.
That is Justice League War. It sucks completely, and that is why I enjoy it. Three Tree Stars. Green Lantern is carrying the movie and without him it would just suck like Wonder Woman, Cyborg, and Shazam do in it. I cannot say this did not entertain me.
Next time is my annual The Land Before Time post.
Sorry this took so long. I have been moderately sick and extra busy.
The 2 announced (I predict a third one will be announced later) are Crisis on Infinite Earths and Watchmen.
For Crisis I think this might be good. It will be part of the Tomorrowverse, so I really hope they just make a big story that does not reset anything, as it is going well (much better than the DCAMU). I am worried it is going to combine the animated movies with the upcoming live action universe, which I think will be a disaster.
Another key problem is the Arrowverse recently did their own adaptation. It is best to wait until it is no longer fresh in the mind of audiences.
For Watchmen this just sounds awful. It is 600 pages crammed into a movie that will most certainly be 90 minutes long at most. I really think this will be another The Killing Joke. A work that will never work well as a movie, gets highly anticipated anyway, and it then completely falls on its face.
This was the hardest to rank of all three seasons, as the quality was the most consistent. There was no clear top episode or clear bottom episode, and it was pretty hard to remember exactly what happened each episode. I have seen every episode 4 times, and had time to think this through, so here are my rankings.
I have been sitting on the rankings for a while, since it took a long time for the DVD to come out, which I needed for the proper screenshots.
13- Infinity Inc Chapter 1 (7). Very good episode and for the second time I can find no bad episodes in a season. The comedy was great, I was amazed at how much better and funnier Jade’s acting was, and the interactions between Shade, Jade, Stargirl and Pat was a major highlight. Hourman and Dr. Mid-Nite got plenty of great banter between them. The reason for it being at the bottom is after last episode’s dark ending I just think a more lighthearted one part episode would have been better, and the episode is mostly set-up for the next one.
12- Infinity Inc Part 2 (8). A well made episode that has the problem of never being surprising other than some stuff to set up the spin-off. I have no problem with setting up Infinity Inc, since it makes a good “The Adventure Continues” for us to imagine how it could have gone.
Two major highlights were Mr. Bones and the hooded figure who was also in last episode. I and several others had plenty of fun overly analyzing the hooded figure and trying to tell who he was.
11- The Murder (1). This was a very hard pick to make, and I went back and forth on it. On one hand it is not that interesting of an episode and is almost all set up. On the other hand I love seeing such a large cast in this episode and the happy tone that slowly gets more and more hostile.
10- The Last Will and Testament of Sylvester Pemberton (12). Great title that threw so many people off. This episode was full of major twists. It is not too interesting on a rewatch.
My biggest highlight is Stargirl’s speech to Sylvester early in the episode. The opening flashback is another big highlight.
9- The Suspects (2). Plenty of great small character driven scenes like Tigress saying how she would have killed The Gambler differently, and the Shade/Sylvester/Stargirl dynamic making for some great scenes. I love this episode.
8- The Haunting (11). On a rewatch this is probably at the bottom, but the first time it was fascinating trying to figure everything out and how this is leading to a final battle, especially with the ending with Dragon King and Icicle.
I think the biggest highlight is Cameron trying to both figure out who his dad actually is and trying to play peacemaker.
7- The Evidence (4). This episode moved all over the place on my rankings and could have been both way higher and lower. Fittingly it is in the middle.
There is not much of an ongoing plot for it, but it advances many smaller plots piece by piece like Stargirl and Cameron’s romance which advances heavily, Humanite becoming Starman again, and more pushing Shiv out.
The little character interactions are great this episode like Humanite and Charles’s scenes and Crusher loving his beer.
6- The Thief (5). In reverse of the haunting this is the most improved on a rewatch. This episode is Humanite cashing in on his success getting what he wants out of Rick, Beth, and Yolanda. On a rewatch it is such a work of art seeing him get his way. Last season Eclipso did this because it is fun and went in guns blazing. In contrast Humanite is now very slow and methodical with his methods with each action working to multiple greater purposes (which I maintain include stacking the deck against Icicle and Dragon King for a planned future fight with them that never came).
I have to hand it to Meg DeLacey and the entire crew’s work on Shiv this episode. Her comic relief really elevate this dark episode.
5- The Blackmail (3). Again many great small character moments like Tigress threatening mean boss and the Rick/Cameron feud. I remember how great first seeing Cameron shoot his tire was.
The Supermarket fight is very different from the past big fights. Before they were made to be exciting, but this is much slower, more vicious, and scary for the viewer, and it really can feel like he is actually going to kill them.
Pay attention to Humanite’s speech to Pat at the end. This is when he discovers how to play Sylvester, not as a crazy and laidback uncle type, but a wise father type (who still has some PTSD issues). His portrayal gets notably more convincing after this (thanks for spilling all those details Pat).
4- The Betrayal (6). Artistically this is the best episode of the season, but it is so dark I enjoyed other episodes more. Last episode was Sylvester getting his way. This episode is the result with what happens to the JSA and all the problems this will make for them the rest of the season.
3- The Killer (10). A wonderful episode as Tigress and Crusher show how far they have come. It is refreshingly simple breather episode compared to the ones that sandwich it and how dark they are.
2- The Monsters (9). Another uncomfortably dark fight, and I love it. It feels so different form the other big brawls due to Cosmo not being there, and it is the most brutal fight in the show.
Some major highlights include Sofus saving Rick, Mike and Jakeem finding Dragon King, Paul’s scene, and Crusher and Pat discussing Mike’s mom.
1- The Reckoning (13). The finale is the best. A fast paced and action packed opening followed by a slow and heartfelt second half to wrap up everything while still leaving plenty of mystery for us fans to think of their future adventures.
My top highlight is the recreation of the Justice League of America #10 cover.
It has been a long time since the ancient year of 2019. It ended a decade with many big hit animated films, so I want to celebrate the best from this era and briefly go over the worst. I looked through the list and marked every animated film I saw from this decade, then I made a separate list of all the Five Tree Star and One Tree Star films.
There were 17 Five Tree Star movies and Fourteen One Tree Star films, so better than I expected.
7/17 in the best category are Direct-to-Video. For the worst category it is 7/14, but the theatrical releases dominate the bottom half.
By studio Warner Bros wins the best category with 9/17. More impressively they have 7 in the top 10 and 3 in the top 4. Disney came in second with 4, and those are the other picks from the top 11. Scary only 2 studios had every film in the top 11. Paramount had 2. Sony and Fox each had 1. Shockingly my favorite studio, Universal, had zero.
For the worst category by studio Warner Bros this time comes in last with 7 (but again most were at the top of the list, not the bottom). Clearly I watch more Warner Bros movies than any other studio. Fox has 3, Disney has 2, and both Universal and Paramount only one each. Shockingly Sony is the only big studio to stay off the list (I thought The Emoji Movie was so bad it’s good).
Just for fun here is a list of all the animated films I saw from last decade
I am surprised this movie is not better known. I keep hearing people say they want a movie where Batman is the hero antagonist, and this is that movie. It is really a Suicide Squad movie, and I hate The Suicide Squad. This movie addresses so many of my problems with them and fixes them.
It is directed by Jay Oliva and Ethan Spaulding. I have reviewed many great movies by them and many sucky movies by them. Seeing them together with another winner makes me happy, like two hit or miss creators teaming up to help each other. It feels like old friends giving each other a boost.
It starts with Waller trying to kill Riddler for currently unknown reasons. Batman saves him, and the portrayal of Batman is established. As a hero antagonist Batman is portrayed more like a slasher villain who never kills that we root for her, rather than showing the fights from his point of view. HE shuts off the lights and our view goes dark. We hear him more than we see him. Sometimes the camera is the point of view of a goon getting beaten up by Batman. Style wise both the words and movements are similar to The Dark Knight Returns. My only problem is Batman’s visible pupils. There is a reason Bill Finger got Bob Kane to remove them.
Batman sends Riddler to Arkahm, so Waller gathers her Task Force X to break in and kill him. Her team is Black Spider, the assassin, Deadshot the shooter, Captain Boomerang, the throwing guy, Killer Frost, the killer, King Shark the muscle, KGB Beast, the guy who is there to die (considering he is a devout Russian I would think Waller would hate him and want him dead), and Harley Quinn the Arkham expert.
Unless she is written by Paul Dini I normally hate Quinn, so I am happy to see an exception. For one the traditional costume but with a bare midriff is a very good balance of her different outfits, and it offers some needed color from all these neutral colors (Killer Frost’s blue is more icy death blue). She is actually funny here. Also she is introduced watching The Looney Tunes Show and biting somebody’s ear off who takes away her screen. She has good tastes in comedy.
Immediately King Shark and Killer Frost start flirting and Deadshot is established as the veteran of the team. Waller reveals she has places bombs in their brains and will kill them if they try to leave. KG Beat tries to leave and is killed. Considering he came back from the grave when Batman murdered him in the comics (yes) I doubt this will last but it surprisingly does.
One of my main problems with Suicide Squad is everybody acts way to chummy towards Waller. Here everybody clearly hates each other except for King Shark and Killer Frost. It is refreshing seeing our team of protagonists not like each other, and they act more realistic for a team of villains forced to work together.
Waller keeps calling them “convicts” and threatening them, and Deadshot promises to get her in the future as payback. Based on their interactions last time Deadshot was the only survivor, and he liked his old team much more than the current one.
Quinn keeps flirting with Deadshot and getting angry whenever Joker is mentioned. She also regularly says “Yahtzee.” Both of these have key meanings later.
Waller wants Riddler dead as he took files of all her Suicide Squad stuff and is threatening to put them online. Waller is sending them to destroy the files, and she secretly gives Frost the other job of killing Riddler.
Everybody hates Captain Boomerang. Black Spider even debates just killing him. I think he is around since he is a cockroach. He bugs everybody, but he is a survivor.
The next few scenes are about showing Deadshot’s hated leadership. Everybody else knows they are probably about to die and mostly want to enjoy life while they can. Deadshot wants to kill Waller and get back to his daughter, so only he is taking this seriously. He is playing dad to children he hates like the one who everybody dumps their kids on. They put up with him, as he beats them up and gets them from point A to point B. He and Boomerang get along the worst.
They send Quinn to get captured, and Batman is trying to find out where a bomb is. Joker is locked in Arkham but hid a bomb somewhere that can kill half the people in the city. Waller is fine with this thinking it will keep Bats off their tails, while Task Force X is not happy they now have even worse odds of surviving.
They use disguises after that to get in (I see no reason Quinn had to be captured then but oh well). There are around here multiple naked fan service scenes (without actually showing any nudity. It is PG-13 rated, so if that is a deal breaker avoid this movie). Many things go wrong, but they pull through thanks mainly to the quick thinking of Deadshot and Captain Boomerang.
Quinn gets distracted by Joker, and he is great here. His scenes are limited helping him not steal the show. Troy Baker does a masterful impression of Mark Hamill (interesting fact: Baker also voices Batman in many animated movies). Quinn tries to kill him or free him and shoots at him. Joker later realizes she ruined his prison so he can escape. Maybe she was trying to let him out and maybe she was trying to kill him. I think she was trying to let him out. Sure she flirts with Deadshot but she regularly gives him death glares when he is not looking, those shots are too precise to be accidental, and they both like saying “Yahtzee” when happy.
They know Batman and security will be after them, thus King Shark convinces them to play yesterday’s footage. Deadshot does not hide that part of this is to throw off Waller so he can killer her later. Fortunately Batman realizes the people on tape are from yesterday’s shift and comes to help.
When taking out the security lights Boomerang delays long enough for the alert to come, and only Deadshot is mad since the rest just want to fight somebody already. King Shark does most of the work. This whole time Deadshot and Boomerang are clearly trying to kill each other.
After another scene showing how much everybody hates Deadshot and only keep him around since he is the best in an emergency. Quinn gets them to the convicts’ stuff where they find some weapons, the hard drive they need, and Quinn’s mallet which she is having trouble moving properly almost like it is now heavier (hmm.)
Then Batman shows up. This fight is great. The music is wonderful. The color gets brighter so we can see the action as Batman takes advantage of their terrible teamwork to wipe them out, bring the house down so nobody can look for a body, knock out Black Spider, change clothes with him, and steal his identity.
He rejoins the remaining 5 members with his own utility belt, but they see the hard drive was not there and Frost has left them to go kill Riddler. When she goes to kill him the camera keeps focusing on the marks from their infused bombs, and Riddler makes the preplanned plea for his life. He knows how to defuse the bomb. She knows he is telling the truth since Waller did not simply blow him up.
At this same time is when Joker escapes thanks to the damage Quinn made. He even takes back half of the horrible things he did to her.
They reconnect with Frost and Riddler. To disable them he needs some technology in the medical center. In probably the only scene in the movie members of the team (Frost and Shark) actually work together to solve an obstacle. Honestly it is pretty underwhelming with how much fun it is seeing our protagonists hate each other. Meanwhile Black Spider dressed as Batman (they hardly hide it) is stumbling around injured.
Riddler’s plan is to use all the electricity to overcharge all the bombs while “Black Spider” offers to stand guard. Waller calls them, as Deadshot plays stupid claiming they are in the medical center to deal with Spider’s injuries. She activates the bombs, but Riddler disables them. King Shark’s shock did not work for some reason and he dies. Joker sees “Batman” stumbling, but before he can kill him he dies from the bomb. Joker uses the commlink in his ear to figure out Task Force X is there.
Riddler figures out who Batman is disguised as, Bats gets Deadshot to spill the beans and Joker shows up. This results in Bats getting shot and fleeing. Quinn leaves the others to rejoin Joker. He hits her so he can confirm the bomb is still in the mallet.
The remaining three are Deadshot, Captain Boomerang, and Killer Frost. They see all the cops and all the supervillains Joker broke out.
Now the chaotic final battle. A bunch of criminals are trying to break out of Arkham. Quinn and Joker are trying to get out and destroy Gotham. Batman is prioritizing Joker. The cops are focused on the criminals. That leaves Killer Frost, Boomerang, and Deadshot trying to get out as the remaining members…
No, as soon as they see a landed police chopper they can escape in Frost knocks the others over for a head start. Now it looks like the final 2 are the hated enemies Boomerang and Deadshot, but Boomerang runs off too. As should have been expected for a team that hates each other they ditch each other. That is why I hate Suicide Squad but really like this movie. It takes my hated tropes with them like thinking we should root for them and believe they get along and ditch all that.
From what I hear this climax is divisive. Either too dark and confusing or fun and chaotic. During the escape attempt Batman subdues most of the criminals and Killer Frost is killed. Boomerang gets captured.
Deadshot, Joker, and Quinn battle on the chopper with the bomb, before Batman gets there. After all the craziness from earlier I find this ending fight underwhelming. It is more of a typical good fight scene the DC DTV films normally have. My favorite gag in it is the Joker’s instructions for disabling the bomb is to cut the red wire when they are all red.
After winning the fight in spite of Deadshot getting away Bats is furious at Waller for all the problems she made. She is not scared of convicts and vigilantes turning her in, as she is unaware of what is about to happen.
My biggest gripe with The Suicide Squad concept is how is Waller still alive. She reveals herself to all these killers after giving them ample reason to killer her. Why not use a fake identity like Rip Hunter does? How is she still alive. In the very end she sees a red dot pointing right at her. It ends with Deadshot smiling.
I love that his daughter is there with her teddy bear. She can enjoy the show.
I really enjoyed this movie. It takes a comic book team I call the dumbest in the industries and makes it very good. It gives a unique portrayal of Batman as the antagonist for an entire movie. The unlikable and evil protagonists really makes this stick out from the other 106 DC movies I have seen. My main problem is the twists and turns are very predictable.
Four Tree Stars.
Next time I am going to make a list of my top animated movies from the 2010s decade. I just need to write a list of every animated film I have seen from the decade. How hard can it be?
It’s failure has taken box office reports by storm. Now that its run seems to be over I am going to try to figure out what happened.
It made barely 30 million its opening weekend. That is barely half what the first film made.
1.914174340289404. That number is its multiplier (how much it made compared to its opening weekend. It is the worst in DC history with its 41 films with numbers like this. In contrast this used to be dead last- 1.947135665894295. It is the bottom, and it is not close. It seemed it underperformed every single day.
Internationally it was a disaster everywhere but Mexico.
In comparison to other superhero bombs. It got killed by X-Men Dark Phoenix. Granted adjust for budget and Shazam won domestically. Then again adjust for worldwide and Phoenix won.
It beat Fan4stic domestically but lost to it worldwide. With its lower budget it beat that at least.
It beat The Suicide Squad domestically, and worldwide when converted for budget, but that was released when theaters were on life support with the pandemic, and it still made well less money worldwide.
When you adjust for budget the 12 year old Ghost Rider: Vengeance crushed it.
Hellboy II handily beat it despite a budget almost half the size.
Despite its much lower budget Morbius dominated it in every way.
Time to check the commercial, and it sucks. It spends one third of its time telling you the hero sucks and using clips from other movies saying they do not have good footage to use. Honestly there is very little of the movie that makes me think it would make a good trailer shot. They probably should have filmed stuff for only the trailer.
He says the team is fracturing while showing the few scenes they are uniting telling the audience the movie is unfocused.
It shows unintimidating villains, gives bad jokes, and then it lingers on a bad joke. The remaining scenes are generic superhero stuff with bad music and a horribly weak looking dragon. The only positive reaction I heard to this trailer was “I want that Goonies shirt.”
Time for trailer 2 and see how it… My ears are bleeding. It is mostly the same clips but with added major spoilers making many potential viewers decide there is no point watching it (and the movie is very by the numbers anyway) with awful music. I think this made people actively not watch it.
I heard the usual it was not marketed. That is nonsense, and it is an excuse used whenever a movie fails. There were quite a few commercials for it, but they were pulled from Paramount + and a few other places a week before the release, because by then reports said it would only open to 35 million. So if it got 2.5 legs (that was my prerelease guess) that means at 35 million opening it would make a little less than 90 million. Since they would keep less than 45 million that is not worth the finances of marketing further.
I saw the movie, and honestly I have no idea how I would market it better. There is nothing in it that screamed trailer worthy. They tried to appease Game of Thrones fans, and I heard nothing but scrutiny for that.
The strange thing about those awful legs is word of mouth was perfectly good, and that probably hurt it. There was no talk of seeing this spectacular badness.
Looking at some smaller things working against it, and there were many. James Gunn (the head of DC’s PR department) went crazy with marketing The Flash. He never said anything about this giving many the impression it stank. Zachary Levi is the star, and he was just awful. It did not help that he is mildly suffering from cancel culture. Enough for bad publicity but not bad enough for big publicity. I do not think casual audience members who do not talk about movies online cared for the first one. When I ask Boy Scouts about superheroes. They never talk about it or the hero named… Whatever his name is. I will say it, Black Adam is all of these- better drama, better comedy, better fights, and a better less bad adaptation.
It had a terrible release. In a crowded March/Early April it was nobody’s first pick. Mario and Dungeons and Dragons beat it at being for kids. Creed III and Dungeons and Dragons beat it at being for action. Scream VI beat it at being for scares. John Wick beat it at being fun. It had no niche, and most people watch at most 1 film per month.
A key part of a superhero film working for mass audiences is wish fulfillment. Contrary to what his fans say this guy is terrible wish fullfillment. Just look at the picture at the top. This guy now looks so old compared to last movie. Children do not want to look like that. In addition nobody wants to be Captain Sparkle Fingers. He was pretty dumb the first movie, but here he is just a bumbling nincompoot. He constantly needs to get rescued by his damsels in distress, and turning into an adult is not something they want when they actually lose maturity.
In addition Billy’s life sucks. Now Spider-Man makes that work because of his smart mouth personality in addition to winning by himself. This guy normally comes off as the incompetent member of the family.
Frankly there was just no real interest. It was not something audiences were clamoring to see in a sequel, and it had bad marketing. It needed something to stick out, and instead it was very by the numbers.
I remember when if asked who my favorite superhero was I would without hesitation said “Flash.” Then DC made their greatest mistake, brining Barry Allen back to life and sidelining the real Flash. Now all this guy does is mess up the space time continuum for selfish reasons, learn not to mess up the space time continuum for selfish reasons, and then he messes up the space time continuum for selfish reasons again. How is it one of the most popular superheroes in the world is just repeating this Flashpoint storyline over and over for over a decade now? Time to look at the audience coloring adaptation of why.
Flashpoint is written by Geoff Johns and drawn by Andy Kubert. If I were to make a top ten comic storylines list I think these two might be a major contributor to all but the top spot. Flash used to be my favorite superhero, and he was when this came out. I love alternate universe storylines. You would think I would love this comic, but I do not. I think it is very convoluted and pads out too much (none of my complaints are about it starting The New 52. That would have come from something anyway, and you can read the comic and have no idea it started that).
They start with the opening narration quote from way later in Justice League Dark Apokolips War about accepting what you cannot change. The problem is the rules of changing things are so chaotic, I do not think there is any point twisting it into a real lesson. I really think this lesson is best for realistic fiction. Something like Arthur would be much better for this message.
This opening is not in comics, but I guess it might have been in the Flash comics before then. I cannot say I have read them. Opening battle is fine, but Flash’s powers are just the writers writing him out of problems. Flash used to be my favorite superhero, but that was back when he had a little something called vulnerability. I remember when Flash was beaten he was well beaten. Meanwhile Sonic was held completely still and somehow magically sped his way out of any problem. Now Flash is constantly given the power to do literally anything, while Sonic ironically is written very vulnerably.
In the opening Flash battles his villains which include Reverse Flash who will be the main villain of every single Flash thing from then until the present day. Seriously like every single Flash thing is copying Flashpoint. The Lego Flash movie did it, and coincidently it is the worst DC lego movie. The show does it all the time (I do not watch the show, but I am really not interested). The upcoming live action movie is adapting it, and I am shamelessly trying to cash in on it (Hey, I think my Buzz Lightyear review got more views than the actual Lightyear movie).
Reverse Flash puts bombs on all his fellow villains introducing him as pure evil, and I see why I do not think he works. If I had to find one thing that is Geoff Johns’s greatest strength it is the villain, specifically his complex and sympathetic villains. This guy is just so cartoony he makes Maleficient look like a Shakespearian Villain like Hotspur. This is not an exaggeration. Meanwhile Jim Krieg is the movie’s writer, and he also specializes in complex and sympathetic villains, so I really think Reverse Flash is a terrible fit for them. I love so much work these guys have done for DC. It feels so weird to not like this.
Also why does Captain Cold not just freeze the bombs? Come on man, you are going to save the world soon… Oh yeah they never adapt that.
The Justice League and Flash’s deus ex machina powers save the day, and all this opening really does is give us an early action scene. I prefer the comic’s opening where we jump right into the mystery. Fittingly the opening title comes right where they adapt the actual comic.
The one nice detail I like is about this movie’s saving character, Batman. He is very supportive of Flash and offers help seeing he is not happy with his life.
Barry wakes up and finds himself in an alternate timeline where he has no memories, and he learns in this world his mother is still alive and other than that things are a disaster. It is a nice detail when he sees his Flash ring and wedding ring are gone, but I only noticed the wedding ring detail since I can fill it in from the comic (no, I do not find the comic very memorable. I just reread it the day before rewatching the movie). He has no new memories of this place and everybody thinks he is an idiot klutz now. On one hand this is slow. On the other hand it does help get some tragedy going that the world is in chaos, he is a fish out of water, and Aquaman and Wonder Woman are destroying the World.
That last part is where the division come from this comic. Some say it is a cool or tragic elseworld concept. Two heroes and their armies battling and destroying the world. This pleases those who want violence including my dad whose favorite superhero is Aquaman and those who want a very emotional battle. On the other hand you have people like me who find this convoluted because this is not an elseworld. As later confirmed this is an alternate timeline where Flash saved his mom from being murdered. Somehow that changes these heroes into monsters each with death counts well past 30 million because.
It’s as good as any other answer.
They attempt to explain it with the butterfly effect, and that is nonsense. Him saving his mom through time travel cannot just change things that happened before then. This is really why I hate discussing Flashpoint with its fans, as they act like The Butterfly Effect is an all explaining concept and act like most people have never heard of it.
When he asks his mom about superheroes, she can only name one, Batman. Batman here is by leaps and bound the best part of this movie, and it is no wonder the recent sequel series about him was so great. Turns out all you need to make Flashpoint good is cut out Flash ironically. Those glowing red eyes. The horn like pieces of his cape. The stubble on him. I love this design. His acting is the best in the movie, but I still read him in James Woods’s Owlman voice since they are actually very similar. They both think life is meaningless and want it to end.
Part of what makes him work is his black comedy. In his opening scene we see he owns a casino showing just how different he is from regular Batman. Every time his villain makes a joke he responds with a joke about killing her, and that visibly terrifies her. He throws her to her death but she is saved by this world’s most loved superhero… Cyborg? I just lost all suspension of disbelief. How is he the world’s top superhero?
This next scene is a failure of an adaptation. They meet holograms of the other heroes in this world to make an alliance to stop Aquaman and Wonder Woman. Batman says no and everybody leaves. In the comic this introduces many key characters, we know nobody else signs up, they were only in if Batman was, can come across as meta DC commentary from that, and it establishes a lot about this world’s heroes and how inadequate they are. Here it just wastes time other than introduces Cyborg, and he could have been cut anyway.
Flash no longer has speed, so I like the little joke that he is stuck in traffic. He goes to the batcave to get help, and he is shocked to find it full of empty alcohol bottles, guns, and ammo. He also calls Batman “The James Bond of Superheroes.” Um… As Chandler on Friends said “Batman is way cooler than James Bond.” In one of the most memorable parts the best superhero ever beats up and breaks the fingers of this time travelling idiot and gets mad when the idiot call him “Bruce.” It is then revealed this Batman is actually Thomas Wayne and Bruce died in the alley. How going back in time changed that? Who cares it makes no sense, this is actually a great twist that really messes with the universe we know. Do not worry movie, Batman is here to save you.
Next scene Steve Trevor is captured by Amazons and his normal love interest kills him. It does not add much to the story, but it does contribute to the dreadful mood. Still how did changing time make Wonder Woman like this?
While being interrogated Barry and Bats discover Reverse Flash left them a calling card, so they make a plan to get Barry his powers back to reverse it. They remake the accident, it does not work, Flash does not die, they remake it, it works, and Flash cannot change time again with another speedster messing with the speed force. A lot of this could have been cut. But do not cut the joke that the Batcomputer is Windows ME. That is the funniest part of the story.
I really enjoy trying to recognize all these guys from the many comics I have read.
After this comes another pointless but mood making scene that is really cool. Lex Luthor and some other villains find Aquman’s doomsday device to save the world or something, but in a very good fight Aquaman and his guys kill them all. If there is one thing Jay Oliva does well it is-
Mindless Violence
In another scene a yellow speedster saves Lois. Reverse Flash did this to alert the heroes he is in New Themyscira (They conquered and destroyed United Kingdom), and in another Hal Jordan is introduced as our future Green Lantern. Instead he is killed by Aquaman sending a sea monster to sacrifice to kill him. This shocking part of bringing him in just to die and give some comic relief really is shocking and much better at this dark stuff than most of the movie. Similar to how they show the Joker’s origins this universe.
I am noticing a pattern. This movie is bad when it tries to add to the plot, but good when it ditches that and tries to add to the mood.
Barry starts having seizures, so they take him to the Captain Thunder (should have stayed his name if they were going to change it) Kids to heal him, and they see that the world is about to end. They have a speech about going there, but without the comic’s extra context it is just empty except for Batman of course.
They go to New Themsycira, and this is a really good three way fight where everybody dies until it seems only Reverse Flash and Flash are standing. By the way Reverse Flash never says “It was me Barry.” In fact he says the opposite about… Look I have whined enough about how this alternate timeline makes no sense. Lets just focus on the fighting. That is what we are all here for after all.
The actual speedster fight where Reverse Flash crushes Barry (Wally would have won) is pretty bad, but again the mood as all these people are shown dead is great and really makes this stupid world have weight. Then everything is saved by the best character.
Where would this movie be without you Bats?
Right before dying Aquaman activates his doomsday weapon, which is powered by Captain Atom so it can destroy the world. His advisor or something tries but too late to free him.
This is dumb. Why even attack New Themyscyra if they have that Doomsday Weapon? Why did the guy not start trying to free Captain Atom until after it was too late?
With the world literally dying and Reverse Flash no longer blocking his access to the time stream, we get our climax, our hero going to effectively kill his mom. Well I sure did not see that coming.
He stops himself, and in the end he gives Bruce a letter from his father that has him in tears. A good ending to an okay film.
This film gets three Tree Stars. It has enough good stuff that I am glad I saw it. Kevin McKidd gives a great performance as Batman, but everybody else gives a poor performance. The story is nonsense, but the mood and delivery are well done. The villain is awful, but the plot that does not come from him are very good. Our lead sucks, but the number two lead is great. If you really want a better version of this same story watch Justice Society World War II instead.
It starts with a quote on a black screen that is said much better in The Land Before Time 6. This is the problem, it takes itself too seriously. This mixed movie will be at its best when it forgets that and just tries to be a more wacky finale that also torches the franchise and runs.
When this lineup of films started in 2013 it was based off The New 52 lineup of comics (James Tucker has since denied this, but he is obviously wrong). Now in 2020 that era of comics is long gone, and these movies are not selling well. It is time to just slaughter everybody.
This opening is really bad. For one the animation sucks, and it took me a while to find a good image from it. The animation is really static and everybody who is not a main character just stands there lifelessly. It does not help that many new guys were introduced at the end of movies who literally never even speak. Their presence just feels confusing. The exposition is not good either. Clark wants the heroes to go to Apokolips to kill Darkseid, and that is the other problem. Darkseid sucks. He is so boring, and all he does is get beaten up by Clark at the end of all his appearances now. To make it worse they force Cyborg to say “Booyah.” It completely clashes with what little consistent character he has and it does not fit the tone. This DCAMU design is still very bland and ugly. Thankfully it picks up right before the opening credits when Paradooms attack (the movie never explains this, so I will. The paradooms are dead people who have been given Kryptonian DNA to make them into super soldiers).
Two years later and Earth is conquered and Constantine and Etrigan are drinking their tears away. Clark and Raven go to them for help and get saved by them from Paradooms. Constantine is furious at Clark, Clark is upset with himself, Raven is furious at Constantine and Etrigan (by far their most powerful member) has a death wish. Darkseid was waiting for them, as he had a bug inside of Cyborg, and we actually get a very good flashback showing that almost everybody is either dead or captured through mind control. The protagonist of the first movie and the protagonist from the 4th movies are both dead. Zatanna (Constantine’s girlfriend) is dead and he ran away when she was dying. He has no idea why that happened. It is later revealed she placed a magic spell on him to make him save himself, but even without knowing that I do not blame him. It sounds to me like she was not calling for help but to save himself, which he was.
Raven is greatly weakened by her father trying to break out of his prison and Clark was injected with so much Kryptonite he is now normal man. Last movie to show he is empowered he had red eyes. This movie they do the opposite by giving him green eyes.
They teleport over to Damian who is now in charge of the League of Assassins, as they need his help. He is furious at Clark for his failed plan and takes them to see Dick Grayson who is now insane. Damian call him his “brother.”
Dick was not your brother. They adapted Damian and Tim’s hostile relationship and hoped comic fans would fill in the blanks. This is why I like this movie way more than the actual fans of this universe. They hate seeing it blow up on them. Meanwhile I honestly do not care who wins and can just enjoy all this mindless violence. Batman is my favorite superhero, and I hate this version. Keep up the torture Darksey!
Thankfully for our heroes it takes very little work to convince people to join them. Damian is convinced easily. Swamp Thing is convinced easily. The suicide Squad is convinced easily. Oddly Deadshot, their old leader, is now just gone and Harley Quinn is leading them as Captain Boomerang carries the group’s comedy.
So now Lois is leading a team of depowered Clark, Constantine, Raven, Suicide Squad, Lady Shiva, Etrigan and a few others who show up to get killed. Actually this team is very normal for a group of misfits team DC uses. The coolest people there are Lady Shiva… Wait she is already dead. Well they have Cheetah… She is dead too. Thank goodness they have Black Manta… Didn’t he die in Throne of Atlantis? Anyway thanks to information from their source, Silencer, they make it past the humans with only a few deaths and face Lex Luthor. They beat him up, and he gets them to not kill him by revealing he is Silencer. Why did he keep that a secret especially when many of them are very murderous, and Lex is not exactly the most humble man on the planet? These action scenes make no sense, and that is what I enjoy about them. I just have no idea what stupid thing they are about to do.
Raven makes Constantine promise to take care of her father is she loses control by… Who cares? Less talking more hitting! Raven, Damian, Clark, Etrigan, and Constantine are teleported to Apokolips to assassinate Darkseid while Black Manta and some losers stay behind to pray that Black Manta can save them all. The best part is even the movie is confused and keeps pointing out it makes no sense for Constantine to be helping them. He is there for the same reason I am, watching the disaster end.
They come face to face with what is left of their old teammates in a pretty good fight. Robo Evil Wonder Woman is freed from her mind control and saves them. They then run into Batman who also breaks free from his mind control. Darksey’s mind control sucks. Mr. Big would not approve of this loser. They also find what is left of Flash and Cyborg, but they are not important.
Damian and Constantine are killed, Trigon breaks out, and he possesses Clark to duke it out with Darksey. That is one way to decide who is the most boring villain (It is Darksey. Trigon is way cooler). Lois’s group has no hope as Black Manta got killed, and she sends a video message before dying (an explosion they set up also kills all the Paradooms), and this motivates Clark to gain control back. His eyes are now Blue, as apparently Trigon is such a nice guy he removed all the Kryptonite.
After this insanity the movie does the predictable thing, Clark battles Darksey. Oh gee, how often does that happen?
Back to the insanity Raven’s magic tears bring Constantine and Damian back from the dead to Constantine’s anger. Trigon takes over battling and beating Darksey, while the heroes teleport themselves out. Cyborg dies with horrible last words. Ding dong the wicked witch is dead. I do like the little detail that Trigon and Raven make up somehow right before the end. Nothing like mocking a bad movie to bring family together.
With so much lost. The League plans for the future, rebuilding, saving what they can, helping others…. Hell no. They get so dreadful Constantine even throws away his cigarette.
They decide the best course of action is finish murdering everybody and just put themselves out of their misery. Our heroes. They just stare at the bright light that is the end of the world like this is boring and die. The credits roll.
So long DC Animated Movie Universe (DCAMU). You died like you lived, and I enjoy this movie for that.
Terrible concept and great execution. Making it two hours might have fixed this, but it might have ruined what made it good instead. This is a hot mess and a fitting end for a group of overly dreary movies.
Next time is something happier, Blue’s Big Musical Movie.
The Animation Historian 