Martha Speaks Seasons 2-3 Part 3

There will be some minor changes after this season for a few reasons. For one the child actors will have different voices next season. In season 4 I will discuss the other small changes to format and creators.

Some recent news is not great for the fandom. For one Studio B (they have renamed to Wildbrain since) just sold their rights to Peanuts to Columbia. The bigger one is on November 17th, 5 days after my last post, the broadcasting rights to the show ended. This also ended the website on PBS Kids, and yes, I discovered that by turning it on to watch the show. Oh, well.

This season will be the final speaking appearance of some minor recurring adults like Truman’s mom, TD’s mom, and The Janitor. In contrast 7 year old Milo is introduced this season. Thankfully they keep his appearances rare, which ironically helps him to feel important to the show.

The show was doing great in the ratings with over 1 million viewers per weekday. By this point the show had a large fanbase, and was supposedly the top PBS Kids show in the ratings. Time to look into the final episodes of the first three seasons.

6A- “TD’s Magic” where he seemingly makes an elephant disappear and thinks he has actual magic powers. Poor beginning, and it got good in the second half mainly due to Truman and Milo’s dad, Terrance. While everybody else accepts the craziness they are trying to find the rational explanation, and I enjoy how good of a dad Terrance is. Overall very underwhelming for a TD centric episode.

First appearance of Milo giving him a little introduction before he meets everybody else. I know PBS Kids is known for introducing really bad to terrible new characters, and he is probably the most entertaining of the group. Part of that is his appearances were rare, and this helped his appearances to feel important instead of forced. I do find it annoying Milo has Lily when he will adopt her later, but not much. Apparently this episode takes place after the season finale. The incorrect words of the episode match three episodes later, and this was probably foreshadowing.

6B- “Scaredy Cat” when they hide at the Boxwood house during a storm, and the local cats pretend to be a ghost. This is a good episode. Sure, I wish they kept Nelson’s friends hidden for a while to make it scarier, but that is normally too much to hope for PBS Kids. TD has an entertaining story about power corrupting Martha, and I see why it would scare Helen, especially as she scares easy. Helen’s has some nice details showing what inspired it. It is combining Alice getting hit in the head with a  volleyball and The Headless Horseman (implied her dad told it to her). Being a Sleepy Hollow fan I was really happy for a surprisingly loose adaptation of it, as Nelson’s friends being the “ghost” matches that Brom Bones was releasing his inner Scooby-Doo villain.  Another key detail is a rewatch shows the door never locked. They just panicked when it got stuck for a little while.

Another nice detail is facing the ghost. Skits volunteers guilting Helen and Martha, the two capable of doing something, into trying to save the day despite their fear. Between the mid episode scene and second episode Martha twice stole Helen’s sandwich this episode. Before doing a full rewatch I do not think I ever saw this one in its entirety, and it was entertaining.

7- I never saw this episode before going through every one.

7A- “The Opera Contest” Where they enter an opera contest about episode 1. These musical episodes are normally really good or really bad. In contrast to “Martha Sings/TD Makes the Band” I really like this one. Like most episodes the songs feel like ten year olds made them up on the spot, but these have some more prep time. Again I think the actors have very good singing voices. Up until this point they have not summarized a previous episode yet, so that helps make this stick out. I see Helen has completed overcome her stage fright. I have reread the first book and rewatched the first episode multiple times for this retrospective, and I liked seeing a third version and comparing Helen’s vocal evolution (she sounded very different in episode 1).

Overall a very solid episode. I have never known much about the technical details of music, so the words were actually educational to me, a full grown man, this time.

7B- “Maestro Martha” where Pablum and Otis learn a mad science music performance to freeze humans and rob them. I saw the tail end of this one once. Feels like forever since Pablum and Otis were written by someone other than Joe Fallon. It is refreshing they are targeting humans instead of Martha this episode. This episode has a great score, which fits it being music focused.

Again, Helen is a great dog owner. She tries to help her dog find an instrument for a week, holds them when needed, and deals with the terrible noise while never complaining.

I love The Janitor, Mr. Stern so much. How he apologizes for kicking Martha out of school, does not let her in, and then says how she can listen from outside. He has consistent goals, but he is so bad at explaining them. Being a music lover gives some depth to him, as he loves culture and making others happy even if his job requires saying “no” frequently.

Last speaking role of Truman’s mom. For the first time since “Bye Martha” Pablum and Otis are actually intimidating. Pablum knows very practical dark science and Otis can play the audience like Count Olaf. Maybe Truman should take notes from Pablum. I am sure it is just an animation shortcut but many of Martha’s friends are in the audience and do nothing to help. I guess they just really want to hear Otis’s music. This is a really good episode.  Plenty of stakes, and I like these more fantastical episodes.

8- Alice is only in the closed opening and closings, but never talks this episode.

8A- “Skits and Mr. Scruffles” where Skits and Milo meet, and everybody thinks they made the other one up. This is a very tired premise I normally do not like at all. This and Andy Griffith Show are the ones I enjoyed. A lot of it is the fantasy elements and characters not knowing they are in a low fantasy. A lot of it is how Helen, Martha, and Terrance are really trying to help and making reasonable assumptions.

“This is a very confusing town you got here.” “Don’t worry. You’ll get used to it.” Another episode from Peter K. Hirsch, and another one that feels distinctly different from Arthur. Milo is 7 years old. Martha now gets bathed twice a week instead of every other month. I guess Helen got tired of the smell in her bed. In the mid-episode scene Skits somehow beat TD in chess. Is it not enough he already lost checkers to a mannequin?

8B- “Brave Truman” Where Truman is too scared to use his new sled, so Helen, Martha, and TD try to brave him up with failed results. Joe Fallon episode. Martha did not want to pull the sleigh. I presume that is a reference to “Sled Dog Martha” where she learned she did not want to be a sled dog. I have already theorized Helen is an adrenaline junkie. I think that is supported by how she is too focused on the steep hill being fun instead of helping Truman. TD suggested hitting Truman with a snowball to cheer him up. I think that is a reference to “The Dog Did it” where he and Helen were pelting each other while listening to the frame story.  

Like always I enjoy the different art styles in the frame stories. TD’s sketchy, black and white, and detailed backgrounds, style is contrasted with Helen’s cleaner style with simple backgrounds. I am surprised they are not getting frustrated with Truman for not letting them finish after they already drew everything. Then again they both love drawing. They are used to critique some moralistic stories. I also like the detail Helen and TD just ran into each other one time. It helps make them feel like children.

I really like the ending even if it was predictable. I think this is better on a rewatch, as it was easier to notice the tiny details.

9A- “Martha Acts Up” Where Martha performs as The Cheshire Cat. Quick callbacks to both “Martha Treads the Boards” and “Starstruck Martha.”  First and final return of Kitten from “There goes the Neighborhood.”  I am surprised Helen is not performing too.

How many clothes has she made Martha? How did Ronald think he was stealthy? I love that Martha’s motivation is pure selfishly hurting Nelson. Some commentary on method acting. Pretty good but more memorable than good.

9B- “Ronald is in” Where Ronald fake diagnoses Helen, Alice, and Truman with disorders resulting in them trying to cure themselves by emulating TD. Early mention of Curious Crystal books before Helen tries roleplaying the lead.

This is a great episode. Lots of comedy and running gags, mostly involving TD. There are some great visualizations of their fears.

10A- “Patrol Dog Martha”- where Martha fills in for a police dog and discovers a smuggling ring. I feel bad for Officer O’Reilly. Martha is right she helps, but it always makes his job more chaotic. Not to mention she tried to get him arrested once. For a gruff Bullock type cop he is very forgiving. I think Helen is a much bigger fan of “Courageous Collie Carlos” than Martha. I guess his fear of flowers did make her feel less of him (next season Martha sings over the show when Helen is trying to watch). Nice change of pace that Martha’s dream about her new job is a nightmare. Why does Helen know so much about food smuggling? I guess CD the farmer told TD who told her. I enjoy the meta joke where Martha reminisces about all her old jobs.  Officer O’Reilly is awful with figures of speech even compared to Martha. Martha states she is part pit-bull this episode for the first time. Really good episode.

As somebody with a mom that loves cop shows I really enjoyed this episode tearing them down as repetitive. They put Helen to sleep from boredom.

10B- “The Crooning Crook Caper” where Helen and Martha investigate what they think is a robbery. Again it is a wackier than usual episode from Peter Hirsch. It took me a while to figure out what was different about Helen’s “Heroic Helen” look besides the head. She wears jeans for it. Why did TD get a mop stuck in a boot? Helen just thought it was normal for him. When red herring was defined the word never appeared on screen. Nice detail the criminal has multiple names, as that is a key part of many real life mysteries (I enjoy the Nimrod stories). Great episode and great mystery. It has many hidden details to help solve it, it rationally comes into place, all the motivations fit on a rewatch, and a dual motivation helps hide the culprit. Ambitious of him to unlock the window with two cops in the room. I guess he is a kleptomaniac.

Helen is so devoted she never complains about the wet dog smell. She ditches the Heroic Helen look the entire second half. Either it was too hard to animate or it was to show a disguise is not necessary to resemble Dupin.

11- “Myth Me/TD’s Myth Take” They reenact Greek Myths, and TD hates them and tries to fix them. Not officially a two part episode, but it is one. Joe Fallon episode. Great details on explaining moral and origin myth. Helen’s acting has really improved since “Starstruck Martha.” Nice detail Orpheus got the best reception. It is a great story, and they got it right that Orpheus doomed Eurydice by looking back. Normally I hear she looked back.

Lots of meta jokes to the show. TD thinks they should reset status quo every 22 minutes (length of an episode). They early on dismissed the idea of doing a Martha Speaks show due to not being able to use the word “A.”

Sometimes Helen was enjoying torturing TD too much (especially as she briefly left Martha in the rain).

As a critic with a blog, the exploration of media criticism appeals to me. TD’s complaints feel like an elementary aged student’s reviews of media. As shown by his reaction to Icarus it is not the never-ending part that bothers him but the unhappy endings. Could have changed that one easy. It gets into how different people have different tastes, and one person’s ruined story is another person’s fun. Probably the first time TD has been called “a stick in the mud.” I love this episode. I think this is my favorite episode of season 3.

He says laugh tracks are the successors of the Greek Chorus, and that is a real theory.

To add to the fun the closed opening and closings (and midscene about Narcissus) are really funny. Somehow PBS paid for Martha and Helen to fly to Greece first class with no way home. Helen just casually says they will walk back, and Martha goes along with this. Good thing she has those fat reserves and loves swimming. It is not like next season where PBS leaves them stranded orbiting Saturn.

12- Before the retrospective this is one of the episodes I rewatched to make sure I can still enjoy this show as an adult.

12A- “Wagstaff Races” Where they are in a renewable fueled go-kart race, and the Ronald/Reginal team cheats. Helen set up a solar cooker just to make snacks for her dogs. Poor Wishbone is wishing Joe was like that. This show was really pro-internet for 2010. They normally then portrayed it as evil and false. Here it is portrayed as a great backup to books. Continues running gag from the newspaper episode Ronald forgets about it.

I love Ronald this episode. For a middle schooler he is so over the top evil, and Helen is so friendly with him. I am used to Ron Holsey’s episodes feeling too boring and grounded, but not this one. I am surprised TD and Alice teamed up. I cannot recall them doing anything together other than finding a way to break Spanish class. I guess they bonded over it.

Truman and Milo do an algae powered kart. I know the smell is bad if Helen is covering her nose when Martha sleeps in her bed. Milo clearly has no idea what Truman is doing. No wonder Alice/TD won. OG helped make it. I love the fourth wall joke when Ronald stops the camera from seeing his cart. It also foreshadows it is gasoline powered. Helen did all that research and asked TD about weather forecast for his cart, yet she forgot to see if it would be a sunny day. Sure it has an obvious villain they would beat, but plenty of red herrings on how it happened and options for victory, and a nice twist at the end. Most shows would have made the main characters, Helen and Martha, win. Great episode again.

12B- “The Missing Metal Mystery” Where TD discovers he and the junkyard’s metal is being robbed. He decides it is the person he least suspects, himself. TD takes “Last person you suspect” literally and thinks he is the culprit without knowing. Fern he is not. It makes many funny scenes, but it can drag at times. You want to be a detective Helen, go help your crazy friend. Not as good as the last 1.5 episodes, but it is really funny like most of the TD/Martha episodes.

The monkey TD imagines is Professor Monkey.  The policeman has been incompetent in his other appearances, but here he is good at his job. Last speaking role of TD’s mom.

13- “Martha’s Slumber Party of the Weird/Return to Martha’s Slumber Party of the Weird” Where they tell science fiction stories in a tent. Again a two part episode in all but name. Ken Scarborough wrote the first half, and Fallon wrote the second half.

Bad animation, as Helen keeps smiling when she should not be. On the other hand, we get a good image of Martha and Helen being mad at TD for not thinking an alien invasion through (what did they expect).

The stories offer wish fulfilment to their tellers. In Helen’s the day is saved by TD being lazy I think it is about her fears of him failing school. Martha’s has aliens not acting like people, and I presume it is about how humans and dogs have different values. TD’s has the unhappy ending ironically. Alice is about fun of being small due to her having a bully older brother, and it makes Helen, not her, the klutz. Truman involves him overcoming his fear of bugs. I like seeing the different art style for Helen’s story. Nice detail Daniel’s story has them in black and white. Daniel’s story is about hoping the younger generation like his favorite old shows and following instructions. Okay episode. It has some major highlights but very slow paced for this show.

14A- “The Long Rotten Summer” Where TD spends Summer in school to make it feel longer. I was not surprised to see this was written by Joe Fallon. It spoofs fellow Joe Fallon episode “The Short Quick Summer” from Arthur.

Very good closed opening with Martha being impatient for the show to start. I like that they have different Summer clothes in the flashback. Wait, the flashback takes place in the Summer before episode 1. How is Martha talking in it? Many funny background details, but I find it odd Martha can fly a kite, and I find it sweet Helen skates while towing Martha. Great dialogue that fits Fallon’s wacky style. Great peer pressure again. Last speaking appearance of The Janitor. I will miss this guy, but he went out on a bang. Great episode.

14B- “The Case of the Shattered Vase” A retelling of the parable where blind men describe an elephant. It is okay. The best part is the twist at the end. Nice detective work Helen.

15A- “Alice Covers Up” Where the dye from her sunscreen gives her orange skin.

Ronald is a psychopath this episode. It is really funny and surprisingly sweet. I enjoy seeing how they mix and match common games, as it adds realism. Similar to Magic School Bus episode “Goes Cellular” in basic plot and nothing else.

15B- “Carolina Picks a Lily” Where Carolina impusivly adopts a dog that is part Rotweiler and bulldog and then tries to find a home (and by that makes Helen do all the work).

Technically first appearance of Lily. Really good episode. Last episode with Alice’s original voice actress, Christina Crivici, and I never got used to the next two. Fittingly her last words are “woah!”

One thing I only appreciated as an adult is Mariella clearly does not want another dog. Especially, as it will not stop at three if Helen’s friends keep leaving dogs with her. Martha was not the first choice for a pet. Then one of Helen’s friends left her Skits when he could not keep him. Now Carolina is getting her to foster another future large dog, so Mariella is making sure she does not become their dog as well.

As the owner of two pit-bull hybrids this episode appeals to me.

Thus ends the first three seasons of Martha Speaks. Next is season 4, which will be notably different from this season and the others.

DTV Wonders: Dragon heart 3 The Sorcerer’s Curse

The franchise has been dead for 15 years, and another DTV film came to bring it new life. With a cheap DTV budget this was a big money maker reviving the franchise for two more DTV films. Time to look into the film that made a successful legacy sequel series.

The only returnee were the producer from the first two and composer from the last film. Composer Mark McKenzie was careful with using the iconic theme from the first film, and he did a very good job at integrating new music with it. The producer’s stepson did the script, and I think he is the strongest part. I could not help but notice the writing is very fast paced, while the directing is very slow. It does give it an interesting atmosphere.

For those who do not know in Dragonheart the dragons can give half their heart to a human, and with it they share each other’s strength, pain, and life force. In the first one the villain got the heart. They are about following the old code.

Inside the table’s circle, Under the sacred sword. A knight must vow to follow The code that is unending, Unending as the table– A ring by honor bound. A knight is sworn to valor. His heart knows only virtue. His blade defends the helpless. His might upholds the weak. His word speaks only truth. His wrath undoes the wicked! The right can never die, If one man still recalls. The words are not forgot, If one voice speaks them clear. The Code forever shines, If one heart holds it bright.

It starts with cloudy figures describing Hadrian’s Wall. Even after Rome’s fall it divided the Roman like Southerners and the mystical Celts of the North lead by Druids. The Celts are divided on living in peace or destroying it. It takes place around 300 years before the first film. It is very quick and effective exposition.

All within the first five minutes the Druids meet. Brude betrays and kills the others. It can seem like Brude is doing this for the good of his people like he claims, but he betrays his real motivation, “The wealthy lands to the South.” He is really just power hungry and kills his mentor. Good opening. One druid in training, Lorne, escapes.

Our hero, Gareth is introduced. He is a squire trying to be a knight to Sir Horsa. Gareth is his best fighter, but he is merciful to the peasants when collecting money and pays for them, and Horsa decides he will ultimately cost him a little money and kicks him out.

Great introduction. Gareth will have real trouble keeping The Old Code, as the major self-less act gets him in so much trouble. Horsa is what Brude will be if he wins. Instead of stopping there he will keep milking tiny insignificant amounts of money here and there, as having it will be his god. In fact he will later get dragon eggs, and his plan will be to sell them as food instead of the much cooler evil stuff he can do. While Brude is the more threatening villain I think Horsa is the better one.

Like the first two films the knights are a corrupt group. In the first film Bowen is clearly the exception, and even he gets corrupted for a huge chunk of the movie. The knights are described as rotten to the core and just interested in personal glory and money. When I heard it was a prequel I wonder if this would be the origin or glory days of The Old Code, but it is not. Even in the past The Old Code was considered outdated by most.

This film both romanticized and deromanticizes the past. Even around 1,500 years ago they were critiquing the past and old values just like we do today. It is not about trying to be just like them, but having the timeless values. The old code preaches self-less ness, honesty, and justice. These are old values because they are timeless, and that is the part of the past that should be romanticized. It fits well with the first movie.

Horsa says Gareth can be a knight if he pays him 100 crowns. He fully thinks Gareth will actually steal that amount and give it to him. An asteroid falls on the North side of the Wall, and Gareth hears about possible riches in it. He climbs the wall after easily stealing a sword from a new knight. It is a good introduction to the main setting. It is a dark and mysterious forest with a mysterious figure stalking him, and he finds a hanging corpse. On the other hand I am going to get really tired of this forest.

Gareth finds the asteroid, the dragon, and several eggs. According to the writer the ancient dragons have died, and these are sent to replace them, and I always assumed something like that was the case. For selfish reasons Gareth saves the eggs (money), but the dragon thinks it was for selfish reasons, and does something I was shocked to see.

1/4 the way through he gives him half his heart. For the first time in the series the hero will have the dragon bond. With that they have to buff the villains, so Brude does his master plan. He curses Drago to be his slave by the moon and a shade by the sun. Just giving the hero a dragon heart is a big deal. While this film has many character counterparts with the first one this is completely different.

Gareth is rescued by Lorne and Rhonu. Basically they do not like having to trust a Southerner, but they are happy to have the dragon bond on their side. They happily think he is a knight, and he does not correct them. I really just view them as discount Brother Gilbert and Kara. Lorne explains to him how the dragon bond works.

Next Gareth and the dragon connect in a great scene. Using the shared heart they can find each other. There are scenes in the first one where it is implied it works that way, and Gareth tries talking to him in broken English resulting in “I shared my heart with the village idiot.” In addition it expands on the lore. The dragon (deemed “Drago” by Gareth) can speak thanks to the bond. Makes perfect sense, as Draco in the first one was basically using a second language before the bond. In the first film Draco doubts his dragon name can be pronounced by humans. Here Drago tries, and it comes off as gibberish.

Gareth says he is a knight. Drago knows it is false, but technically true. He has seen him be heroic, and that is his definition of a knight.

Shade form Drago is there to save money, but he also looks cool. Nice way to save money, as they have to priotize the budget. Brude is keeping 50 gazillion torches to keep him away. Thanks to Lorne’s draining magic they get the eggs Back. Gareth tries to escape without them, but stopping to save Lorne halts his plans to abandon them and sell the eggs to Horsa.

Shadow jumping is introduced. It does not go very far, but it makes an entertaining scene. It is not in the first one, as Drago only learned it because of the curse. The actual meat is the Drago/Gareth talking and playing. They feel each other’s physical and emotional pain making some funny scenes. After this is a dramatic scene where Gareth tries to pull the gold off the eggs, and this physically hurts Drago, as the evil affects his half the heart.

After is the best scene in the movie. Brude has some of his slaves, friends of Lorne and Rhonu, paraded around to draw Lorne and Rhonu out. Now Gareth has his whole goal, distracted enemy, and the Celts gone. Seeing them about to die he comes back. This strengthening of the heart is visualized by the heart changing from human to dragon, as this temporarily frees Drago from the curse. Using some preestablished lore they escape alive. If there was every doubt Brude is not evil but just defending his people he happily talks about killing Rhonu’s mother within hearing distance. Not to mention enslaving them, and earlier he killed several in fits of rage.

Gareth and Drago have a literal heart to heart before he is totally enslaved. Gareth apparently decides the best plan is still to put them at the mercy of Horsa, and he captures all of them and the dragon eggs to sell to be eaten. Humorously the knight Gareth stole the sword from takes it back without orders implying Horsa refused to give him another one.

The battle begins, and it is dark and violent. This is known for being the most violent film in the franchise for a reason. Drago effortlessly breaks the gate, and the good Celtic army arrives making a three way battle with Horsa just packing up his money to leave. No wonder the Southerners suck at fighting, he put no effort into training them.

In the highlight to free Drago Gareth follows the code and fights Horsa to save the eggs. The big moment is when he catches the sword with his hands. There is clear pain, a sad version of the main theme plays, and his heart is shown full of dragon scales. Drago is freed, and Gareth beats Horsa. Interestingly he then executes him. It is kind of refreshing seeing the hero do that with no implied evil intentions. His wrath undoes the wicked after all.

Rhonu gets fatally injured killing Brude. An unborn dragon somehow shares its heart with her. They marry in a union of Northerner and Sountherner uniting the realms in “The Age of the Dragon.” Good ending for a good movie.

I am glad they did not force attacks on the second film. Sure I do not like it, but that would not have helped this movie.

It lacks rewatch bonuses, but I really enjoyed it back in 2015. Four Tree Stars. Next time is Scooby-Doo Mask of the Blue Falcon.

Disney Rankings Look Back

It has been over 6 years since I made my Disney rankings, so time to look back at my most hated company that I loathe like… I am far from the biggest Disney fan, but I cannot deny these movies (and many others from them like Pixar, A Goody Movie, and The Brave Little Toaster) are some of my favorites. Have my views really changed much? Overall, they surprisingly have not.

I really did spend over a year writing this, so I very dominantly hold onto my subjective rankings. If you ever write a giant review you probably know this feeling- after all that watching I was not interested in doing more. This big post was done, so time to move on to other passions like Scooby-Doo, DC Universe Animated Original Movies, older animated movies, and PBS Kids Retrospectives that have taken over the blog.

Since I made then I have rewatched Wreck-It Ralph (1), Pinocchio (2), The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (3) The Emperor’s New Groove (4), Beauty and the Beast (5), Lilo and Stitch (6), Dumbo (7), Mulan (8), 101 Dalmatians (12), The Rescuers (13), The Fox and the Hound (17), Hercules (18), Bolt (19), The Aristocats (20), Little Mermaid was on at a birthday party on loop (23), Winnie the Pooh (25), Oliver and Company (34), Home on the Range (35), Cinderella (37), Dinosaur (38), Home on the Range (39), Sleeping Beauty (41), and Chicken Little (46). That is 22/49.

For obvious reasons I rewatched the top ones. Some were for a review. Chicken Little was to see if I remembered something correctly (Which I cannot even remember what it was). Cinderella was because mom told me to put it on for my niece. The other low ones are even though I dislike them they have merit.

None of my opinions changed except for Bolt and Cinderella. Bolt now goes up one tier and might rise a few spots. Cinderella probably falls a few.

DTV Wonders: Wonder Woman (2009)

Sometimes a film’s reputation really takes a hit. When this first came out I kept hearing how great it is, and now I only hear it is mediocre at best or just awful. I have not seen this movie since 2020 when I actively caught up on all the DC Universe Animated Original Movies (DCUAOM), of which this is the fourth one. Time to see if I think it holds up.

It never got a sequel due to “low sales.” At the time this was highly criticized, but as its reputation plummeted we saw why. It made only “good” numbers, and it was the first time they did Wonder Woman. Naturally the next one would be lower, and this has a very prestigious team.

Like all the early DCUAOM films Bruce Timm is the producer. Some people have said no woman would make this or the creators must have never read a Wonder Woman comic, and they are dead wrong. Lauren Montgomery, an award winning woman director is the director. Gail Simone is the primary story creator, and she has written over 30 Wonder Woman comics. In addition it has some expensive actors.

It starts with the Amazons battling Ares’s army. On one side the fighting is very lackluster by DCUAOM standards (at least early ones). On the other hand the characterization is a major strength. Alexa is introduced as a cowardly Amazon, and that gets another killed. Ares reveals he and Hippolyta used to be lovers and his top soldier is their son. Hippolyta beheads her own son as her introductory move. To her fury Zeus makes her spare Ares, but his godhood powers (but not immortality) are removed. After this Hippolyta makes the Amazons an isolationist society with no interactions with man and is allowed to miraculously create a daughter, Diana. After this good opening the first half completely collapses.

Wonder Woman is quickly introduced as the toughest Amazon and voiced by Keri Russell. I do not like her acting. It lacks range and comedic timing. I presume this was made for men, as there are lots of angles to make them look hotter. A key problem is Wonder Woman herself is not interesting. She is the basic ambassador who slowly comes around and wants more out of life. Where have I seen that before?

While the animation movement is good the animation designs are bad. They are trying way too hard to make them look attractive at the cost of personality and expressions. I got really tired of looking at them.

Steve (voiced by Nathan Fillion) is introduced. He is by far the best acted and second worst character. Bad flashbacks to Fox and the Hound 2 there. This movie has to quit reminding me of bad Disney sequels I have already reviewed. Does he say anything that is not a sexual joke? he is shot down by… somebody, and he ogles at Amazons bathing until Wonder Woman dominates him (the fight is clearly supposed to bring that image to mind), and they interoggate him. This results in a long “crap” joke. As much as I love most of the early DCUAOM movies I always try to forget all the moderate cursing they use to show this is not rated TV-Y7 anymore.

They agree to take Steve back home escorted by a champion. Diana is supposed to help Persephone guard Ares at that time, but Alexa takes her place so she can win, which she does. Alexa while reading is betrayed and killed by Persephone who was seduced by Ares. Artemis is furious at Alexa for that, and I hate this iteration of her (actually more than Steve). Why blame her instead of the traitor or Ares. For somebody with no experience with men she knows a lot of castration jokes. Also where does Alexa get all those modernish books? They are an isolationist society.

Rosario Dawson voiced the unlikeable Amazon Artemis. In several years in the DCAMU she would voice Wonder Woman, an unlikeable Amazon in their version. In two years she would be Persephone in the first Percy Jackson movie.

Our villains are mixed. Ares is a basic villain, no complex motivations, just gain more power. Even worse he was defeated in the prologue making him not that threatening. Persephone is more like a watered down Shakespearian villain. She has a motivation, have a kid, but her actual goals are ambiguous. Despite her limited screen time she is far more intriguing than her boss, and I wish she was the main villain.

Steve and Diana arrive in America, and these next few scenes are terrible. I have done lots of stick sword fighting, and I am upset by Wonder Woman not knowing how play sword fighting works. Why is Etta Candy blonde and thin? Diana gets mad and takes it out on some muggers. No deaths, but she injures many showing she is more brutal than Batman and Superman. It is a pretty good fight, but Steve is so terrible in these scenes. He is way too obsessed with making Diana drunk, so he can… Just moving on.

After a lackluster first half things kick off. Deimos is sent to kill Wonder Woman, and they get in a really good fight where Wonder Woman wins thanks to regularly going for the eyes. She is going to use the lasso to make him reveal where Ares is, but he commits suicide first.

They fight Ares in Tartarus. Steve saves Diana when she gets knocked out. In the hospital she is furious that a man selfishly saved her, and I am fully on Steve’s side here. Could he have actually saved the world without her? It is not like Ares’s god powers are restored, and he is right she keeps playing the sexism card. I am sure most hardcore Wonder Woman fans will not like his speech about men trying to be caring and The Amazons’ cowardly flaw of hiding, but I am really ready for it by this point.

In Tartarus Ares goes to Hades to get his powers back, and he gets him mad at Zeus by showing him his son’s corpse. Good logic except he needlessly angers Ares by mistreating his son right in front of him. I kept expecting Ares to kill him for that.

Ares’s army is faced by Wonder Woman and the Amazons. I thought this was a terrible idea, as it is already established the heroes are a better army. Instead The President’s female advisor convinces him to nuke Paradise Island resulting in Ares getting a huge power boost making him wipe out Wonder Woman, and he gets an army of every dead Amazon. This is actually intimidating and cool. Artemis The Cruel is happy to kill Alexa again and instead loses and is saved by Alexa telling her the incantation to remove them from the fight. Sure it forced more of the film’s worst character, but that was a good sendoff for Alexa. Hipplolyta kills Persephone who reveals she betrayed them to be a mother, as that was her want. Good motivation, but nothing comes from Hippolyta’s reaction. Does she regret this now or not? Probably, as she does let Wonder Woman stay in Man’s world who ends the film in a happy relationship with Steve. Wonder Woman defeats Ares and Steve defeats the nuke. After some letdown fights this was quite the climax. It was fast, felt brutal, and all the moving parts had a clear role. The problem is the one liners stank. I think they were trying way too hard to be memes and sounded dumb.

Three Tree Stars. Weak beginning and really good ending. Good animation movement but bad designs. Bad script and story, but good fights to keep me entertained. Overall it balances out into being an average movie.

Next time- a Rare live action film for me-

Dragonheart 3.